A Tree Beside the Water

"Happy is the man . . . the law of the Lord is his delight, the law his meditation night and day. He is like a tree planted beside a watercourse, which yields its fruit in season and its leaf never withers . . ." Psalm 1:1-3 (excerpted)The New English Bible After a long period of no writing, the Lord has opened the way again. It was a hard time . . . a time of testing and of faith-building. I was ill with a debilitating disease. My mother became increasingly ill as she aged. Pressures built upon pressures. I cried to the Lord. "When will I ever be able to finish the work You have given me?" God's still small voice reassured me that I would always have time to accomplish the work He wants me to do. I needed to trust Him. I prayed and trusted and things seemed to only go from bad to worse. My mother took up most of my time and I was totally depleted. She suffered from cancer, dementia and Parkinson's disease. Her care (and I wasn't even her caregiver), both emotional and physical, depleted me completely and my ill health also took its toll. As I searched God's Word, I gained hope, although everything around me spoke the opposite. It was a faith thing. A faith that had to be grounded in the solid fact of God's Word, not my circumstances. I felt I needed to invest more time in the care of my mother and see it through to the end, not knowing how long that would be. We had never had a great relationship, so this didn't make a lot of sense to me, but with prayer and the agreement of my husband, I followed God's leading. It turned out to be a life changing series of events for me. At first, I felt like this picture of stagnant water and a dead tree. Yet, as I gave myself to this ministry, I sensed new strength, both emotional and physical. It was grueling, at times, but I remembered God's Word. I became alive again. I had new energy. I could drive again. I made serious decisions and the relationship with my mother flourished. As she grew more ill, I sat beside her, and she grabbed my hand and held it to her lips and whispered, "Do you know how much I really, really love you?" I told her I did, and she repeated, "Good, because it's important that you know how much I really, really love you." These were words I had longed to hear for most of my life. She eventually passed away (on my birthday). But, I now had new memories--ones of singing hymns to her, holding her hand, being told she loved me, and the knowledge that, even when she could no longer speak, that I made a difference to her as she grasped my hand tightly when she heard my voice. It was a hard but beautiful time. Although I would never want to repeat that time and it took months to recover afterwards, I found healing. I found new life. I flourished under the faithful hand of God. I am now writing again for the first time in many years. I feel good and am excited to get started. God has given me the time He promised me during those bleak years. I rejoice, for by digging my roots into His Word, fruit is growing in abundance and will spill over and bless many. He is faithful. Praise His name.