Frustration Leads to Prayer

Lord, You know all about the struggles I’ve been going through this week and I don’t want to rehash them.  I believe You are in control and will bring me through in ways that will glorify Your name and help me grow.

I do have a concern though and I know it is a big one, because it keeps popping up.  It has to do with my time management.  I just can’t seem to make it work to get all done I want and it leaves me so frustrated and feeling useless.  I need Your guidance and help.  I want to write and publish.  I want to help others.  I want to be a good wife, mom, and grandma as well as daughter.  I feel so fatigued most of the time and need to walk two miles/daily and take a nap that takes one to two hours.  I need to keep up the home and iron and wash and cook and clean.  Add to that the dental work that needs to be done and I just feel like I’m in the middle of a centrifuge whirling out of control and getting nothing done.

            Watching Artbeat on OPB last night made me hunger for quiet and peace.  One woman walked extensively in the woods to gain the peace she needed to practice her art.  Others had their own studios where they could work unimpeded and uninterrupted.  I am very blessed to have a home office and to be able to work at home, but I just seem to be constantly pulled this way and that and I crave the beauty and peace and quiet of the outdoors.   I am so tired and just feel a huge weight again due to the financial burdens.  I want to help by selling some of my writing but there is so much going on all the time that I have a horrible time quieting myself inside.  I yearn to get my novel out and work on the next.  I yearn to minister to others through my writing, yet can’t seem to settle my brain to make it happen.  The fibromyalgia pain and fatigue, the pain of arthritis and the nerve problem in my hand as well as the dental discomfort keeps me distracted from what I want to do.  Please help me.  Show me what is reasonable to expect from myself.  Sometimes I feel that everyone wants a piece of me and there is never enough to go around.

 I look to You for the answers, Lord.  If it is time management that’s the problem, show me.  If it has to do with the disabilities, then help me to be realistic and do what is most important.  I yield my life to You and ask only that You help me be all You planned for me to be and to give glory to You.  In Jesus’ name, help me bless someone today.  Amen.